Sooner or later I'll get them organized by subject:Life Quotes Collected and Treasured By Nancy J. In no particular order...yet. "I don't write 'em; I just quote 'em." "I'll be glad when the day comes we understand everything we don't understand now." Buffy on "Family Affair" ******************* "Sometimes I think it would be easier to avoid old age, to die, young, but then you'd never complete your life, would you? You’d never wholly know yourself..." --Marilyn Monroe ************************** Here's a sampling of the quotes I've collected over the years. Watch this site for news of more Life Quotes to come. NOTICE THE NEW QUOTES FROM FIRST LADY HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON. If you e-mail me, please be sure and mention that you're e-mailing in response to this page. And remember: "Life's not a beach; it's a MOUNTAIN!" *********************** New! Added June 19, 1999 "Life is a series of choices; how you choose determines where you end up." Alan King as "God" on May 19 1998 Series Ending Murphy Brown episode. Murphy (Candace Bergen) was interviewing "God" "Don't ask 'how?'; just do it!" - "Phil" on Series Ender of Murphy Brown, May 19, 1998 (Murphy asked him how she was going to go through another cancer fight.) "Pschologists tell us anger is the instinctive human response to fear, pain, or frustration..." p. 68 in "The Hurting Parent" (book) by Margie M. Lewis "As we allow a child a growing independence, we have also to wean ourselves from accountability...We need to realize some things are beyond our control. In many cases, it's not that parenting was lacking or weak, but the world's temptations and attractions are so strong. The failure to realize this produces unnecessary guilt." - p. 99, The Hurting Parent (book by Margie M. Lewis) "Our society seems bent on underpaying and ignoring our teachers - at its peril, and at ours." - Jon Carroll, Columnist for the San Fransciso Chronicle From his book "Near-Life Experience, the best of Jon Carroll" p. 36 (Column called "A song of Thanks, a Grat Etude" "Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't life without." Anthony Hopkins in "Meet Joe Black" 1998 "To make the journey without falling head-over-heels in love? Well, you haven't lived at all." - Anthony Hopkins in "Meet Joe Black" 1998 ******End of "New" from June 19, 1999 ******** Hillary Clinton: "You know, when you go through any kind of difficult experience, you have a choice. I mean, you can let it break you and embitter you. Or you can take whatever you've experienced, whatever pain or suffering, and decide that you're still going to have faith, your faith in God, your faith in your fellow man; that you're still going to believe that you can make a contribution to a better life. It's a choice. Every single day we wake up, you can choose to be cynical or hopeful. You can choose to be grateful or contemptuous. You can make all those choices. And for me, it's not a very hard choice." May 26,1999 - 05:41 PM ET CBS 60 Minutes II Dan Rather interviewing First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton Hillary Rodham Clinton: “And you know, sometimes, [prayer is] a way not only of pouring your heart out but of really getting filled up again with, you know, some energy and some hopefulness and positive feelings that can carry you forward." May 26,1999 - 05:41 PM ET CBS 60 Minutes II Dan Rather interviewing First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton ********************* "How much does the world weigh? Ask a single mother." - John Hancock Insurance Commercial, seen 5/16/99 "I'm very proud to be this age; it took me a long time." -George Hamilton on Regis & Kathie Lee 3/12/99 60 years old 8/12/99 "It's not about what happens to us; it's about how we DEAL with what happens to us." - Jeanie Boulet (sp?) on ER 5/20/99 Season Finale "Someone once said, if you ever want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." Zoya in "Zoya" by Danielle Steel starring Melisa Gilbert "Time has a mysterious kindness. It always gives back to us what we have lost - through wisdom and memories." Zoya in "Zoya" by Danielle Steel starring Melisa Gilbert "A nuclear reactor is just like a woman: all you gotta do is read the manual and push the right buttons." - Homer Simpson 9/18/95 "I'll be glad when the day comes we understand everything we don't understand now." Buffy on "Family Affair" "Talking between men and women never solves anything. Where we think, they feel; they are creatures of the heart." - Anthony Quinn in "A Walk in the Clouds" "God never promised us a perfect life; He's savin' that for the hereafter." - The paster in the "Preacher's Wife" with Whitney Houston [and...Free for use by any parent, compliments of me:] "You get yourself under control. I have made my ruling. The discussion is over." - L.A. LAW "Remember, your body is a TEMPLE not an AMUSEMENT PARK." - Nadine on "Love and War" sitcom "A seasoned sled slides swifter than a green one." - Guest character on "Northern Exposure" (TV drama) 3/2/92 "My whole life is 'HAVE TO'" - Steve Martin (Gil) in "Parenthood" "You think that because you're not around, your kid can't be influenced by you; but the fact that you're not around IS the influence, you know?" - Coach Hayden Fox (Craig T. Nelson) on "Coach" 1994 season "Why torture yourself when life will do it for you?" - Hilary Wolf in "Big girls don't cry -they get even." "I sort of see my body as a way to get my head from one place to another." - Russell on "Grace Under Fire" (TV sitcom) when Wade suggested he start working out. 2/9/94 "Good judgment comes from experience; and experience comes from bad judgment." - Steve Physioc on ESPN during Dodger/Pirates game 8/24/93 in L.A. “What doesn't kill ya makes you strong eventually” - Meridith Brooks, “Shatter” from the album Blurring the Edges, 1997 "If you ever decide to quit school teaching, you're going to make a very wonderful wife." - From "All I Desire" 1953 "Someone once said, if you ever want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." Zoya in "Zoya" by Danielle Steel starring Melisa Gilbert "Time has a mysterious kindness. It always gives back to us what we have lost - through wisdom and memories." Zoya in "Zoya" by Danielle Steel starring Melisa Gilbert "Human love is distinguished from the stupid need of animals by two divine functions: The caress and the kiss; and it's the woman who perfected both of these." - Horst Bucholtz as "Harry" in "Aphrodite" Doctor: "I'm experiencing a dry spell (sex)." Character played by Sarah Jessica Parker: "So, you're married?" - "Miami Rhapsody" Ok, on a short-lived cop show call "High Incident," two cops were arguing about whether paranormal acitivty exists. One cop said, "You know, we only use 3 percent of our brain." The other cop siad, "My guess is that varies." - 3/12/96 "Talking between men and women never solves anything. Where we think, they feel; they are creatures of the heart." - Anthony Quinn in "A Walk in the Clouds" "God never promised us a perfect life; He's savin' that for the hereafter." - The paster in the "Preacher's Wife" with Whitney Houston "One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats." - Iris Murdoch, "The Sea, The Sea" [I admit I didn't find this one exactly; it was in Readers Digest "Quotable Quotes" column but it's SO true I had to put it in.] "If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be a human being, you'd be a game show host." - Wynona Ryder as Veronica in "Heathers" "Life's like that sometimes. Now and then for no good reason a man can figure out, life'll just haul off and knock him flat - slam him agin' the ground so hard it seems like all his insides is busted. But it's not all like that; lot of it's mighty fine, and you can't afford wastin' the good part frettin' about the bad - that makes it all bad. Start lookin' around for something good to take the place of the bad - as a general rule, you can find it." - "Pa" in "Old Yeller" "Politicians will keep being Professional Politicians as long as voters continue to be Amateurs." - Mary Matthews (Katherine Hepburn) in "State of the Union" with Spencer Tracy "I try to be a mediator, but I usually just get stuck in the middle!" - my husband SJ, 3/91 referring to his position between me and the kids "Parents are just big kids trying to act like adults so the little kids don't get scared." Pop (Ed Asner) on "Hearts Afire" episode "Now wait a minute; you won't put up with MEN who make you feel uncomfortable, but you'll put up with SHOES that make you uncomfortable??? Oh, come ON!" -Naturalizer Commercial "If you don't have a sense of humor, you're better off DEAD." - Roger Rabbit (Played by Roger Rabbit) in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" "A great love - perfect love - is an illusion. It is the golden fable of which we all dream. In ordinary life, it doesn't happen; in ordinary life, one must be content with less." - Greta Garbo (masquerading as a young man) in "Queen Christina" "I don't know why we need boys at all; they're so loud." Mazie (?) (7 year old) in "Uncle Buck" (In old China, where women were little regarded) "You both have two arms and two legs and all your fingers and toes. You are neither scabbyheaded nor cross-eyed - what then is the difference in you?" - Katherine Hepburn's character in "Dragon Seed" when asked which man she would choose "Answers make you wise, but questions make you human." - Yves Montand as the doctor in "On a Clear Day You Can See Forever" "I love my marriage, and I love my wife, and I want to go HOME." Dick VanDyke as Rob Petrie to lady art teacher who was "after" him "If we measure life simply by our dread of dying, then we have no sense of its value." - Narrator, "Outer Limits" 3/23/97 "A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within." - Narrator at the end of "The Fall of the Roman Empire" "Should one drink white or red wine with Plesiosaur?" - Godfrey Games as Borg in "The Land Before Time" "You work and you plan and you figure things out. And then life ups and hits ya right in the gut and you're three feet short o' your goal. What's it all ABOUT? We're all fools - LIFE'S JUST A CROCK!" - Don Knotts in "How to Frame a Figg" [Remember, folks, I just quote 'em - I don't write 'em :>) ] Man and woman will never really get together, you know, and for one fundamental difference: man wants a woman and woman wants a man." - Dan Dailey in "Oh Men! Oh Women!" "If Piglet ithn't here, it can only mean one thing - he'th thumwhere elth." - Tigger in "Winnie the Pooh" "But if you would seek only love's pleasure, then it is better for you to pass out of love's domain into the outside world, where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears." Mary in "The Women" "What three books would YOU have taken?" - Question of HG Wells' friend to housekeeper in "The Time Machine" when he found that Wells had returned to the future and taken 3 books with him "The unsuccessful tests should be called "rehearsals" - rehearsals which lead to the final perfect performance." My Three Sons, early episode "'Hopelessness' is a dying message we send to our bodies. 'Hope' is a LIVE message." - A doctor/surgeon in "Leap of Faith" "What kind of spindly, ricket-ridden, milky, wizened, dim-eyed, gammy-handed, limpy line of THINGS will you beget???" - Queen Elenor of Aquatine (Kathrine Hepburn) to Peter O'Toole's King Henry II in "Lion in Winter" [your guess is as good as mine as to whether I spelled her quote correctly] "I'm older, and slower, and every day something new give ms gas." - Dan on HBO's "Sessions" series "The ability to step back and be happy for someone else's achievement is a developmental achievement that not all adults come to." - A psychologist on Sally Jesse Raphael 11/7/91 (on show with grown children who can't accept parent marrying a person of another race) "Let me tell you something that I hope you'll remember: Yesterday's a dream that we have forgotten; tomorrow is the hope for some great happiness that will never come; before, behind, there's clouds and shadows. Nothing is real but just these little moments that we call 'today'." - Rita (Greta Garbo) in "Romance" "How much does the world weigh? Ask a single mother." -John Hancock commercial, seen 5/16/99 "Oh, I wish I knew a flower that would never die." - Rita (Greta Garbo) in "Romance" "Well, if you can't see it, and can't feel it, it must not be doing you any 'arm, can it?" - Mama in "When the Wind Blows" (an animated masterpiece about nuclear war) "I don't think I want to be intimate with anything that has "Panasonic written on it." - Sally Fields in "Punchline" "People who get married should be required to take one trip together; preferably involving a rent-a-car and a road map. Then we'll see about this 'till death do us part' stuff." - Miles Silverburg in "Murphy Brown" episode "If you heard it on television, it must be true." - Garfield "My weight's ok; it's just the way I WEAR it." - Spa Guest in "Casual Sex" "We just practice "aerobic imagery' - you know, where you just imagine yourself exercising?" - Mary Jo in "Designing Women" episode "This parenthood thing isn't like what it looked like in the brochure." - Dan on "Rosanne" 5/11/93 "When you find someone with whom you can share laughter, you also find good reason to share the same food and wine; and if you can pass those moments in silent appraisal, you're ready to share the same friends....It's important to have things in common and a mutual understanding, but the MISunderstandings are even more important. If you can have a good knock-down and drag-out brannigan, and in spite of it all still wind up a little closer, well, then the next step is to share the same life together." - Bing Crosby's character in "Little Boy Lost" "When I was growing up in Detroit, my mother told me a lot of things that turned out not to be true: She said 'only tramps get their ears pierced'; She told me that 'the people in Washington wouldn't be there if they didn't know what they were doing'; She told me 'enough is enough'; and she told me 'whatever makes YOU happy will make ME happy'." - Lily Tomlin 1979 "Livin' is like pourin' water into a Coca Cola bottle; if you're the least bit scared, ya can't do it." - Grandson narrating at the end of "Cold Sassy Tree" with Richard Widmark and Faye Dunaway When a woman's under 21, she's protected by law; when she's over 65, she's protected by nature; anything in between, she's fair game." Cary Grant in "Operation Petticoat" "I believe something else: if a man lives his life in decency and as he should and then evil comes to him, it cannot harm him and he can conquer and overcome it. This, I live by." - Father in "Dragon Seed" "If you can't be depraved with your own husband, what's the use of being married?" - newlywedded lady on Alfred Hitchcock episode "One of the hardest things about parenting sometimes is knowing when NOT to." Tom Skerritt in "Picket Fences" episode 4/29/93 "Life's a bumpy road and what you've got to develop is good shock absorbers." - Uncle Charlie in "My Three Sons" episode "Worry never solved a problem yet; Never trouble trouble 'till trouble troubles you!" - Walter Pigeon as Williams Sylvester Packett in "Julia Misbehaves" "There's nothing so valuable in marriage as complete understanding, sympathy, and tolerance." -Nigel Bruce as Colonel Willowbrook in "Julia Misbehaves" "We must finish war - or war will finish US." - Raymond Massey in "Things to Come" "That's why them call 'em 'crushes'; if it was easy, they'd call 'em somthing else." - Dad in "Sixteen Candles" starring Molly Ringwald "You know, dad I've looked up to you all my life and I can tell you something: you've got nose hairs!" - daughter of an ex-boss "Well, that's marriage: if you're happy there's nothing better - if you're unhappy, there's nothing worse." - Friend of Linda Darnell in Day-Time Wife "No time is wasted that makes two people friends." Wendell Corey as Carl in "Holiday Affair" "Ah, an element of conflict in every discussion is a very good thing. Shows everyone is taking part and no one is left out." Elwood P. Dowd (James Stewart) in "Harvey" "All this 'women-friendship' business is just an excuse to borrow accessories!" - Suzanne Sugarbaker (Delta Burke) in "Designing Women" 4-9-90 (Re: Her perfect man) "...I even know what he will look like: he won't be too small, so that I overpower him; or too tall, so that I can mother him at times without looking ridiculous..." - Louise (Sophia Loren) in "Lady L." "There's a little bit of wandering minstrel in every man and if you don't keep their interest, they're bound to go whistling under someone else's balcony." - Linda Darnell in "Day-Time Wife" "My kids remind me of my hemoroids; every time I sit down, they irritate me!" - comedienne Etta May on Showtime "Women must act, while men waste time in talk." - Katherine Hepburn as "Jade" in "Dragon Seed" "There's one thing you females do not understand: When a man takes something apart and then puts it back together, he does not NECESSARILY need all the parts." - co-worker several years ago Jim G. "The heart that has been broken will be stronger when it heals." - Better Midler from a song: "The Rose" "Anger in the family, more times than not, is just confused love." - Fyvush Finkel as Douglas Wambaugh "for the defense" on Picket Fences episode 4/8/94 "How you get in your house if you lock yourself out: in-u-endo!" - Steve Jernigan Spring 1994 "Men are pathetic, really, when it comes to pain. I mean, you should try being a WOMAN sometime; it's a nightmare! Your body gets peculiar with your first period and doesn't stop until menopause! It's a LIFETIME of leaking and swelling and spotting and smears - crippling cramps, raging hormones, YEASTS - and that's if everything's NORMAL!" Dr. Diana Redden (Emma Thompson) in "Junior" to Arnold Schwarzenegger "Electing the President is a lot like student of the month." My son Chris when he was nine while we were watching "State of the Union" together "You get what you settle for." - Louise (Susan Sarandan) in "Thelma & Louise" "The only ones who face reality are the ones who are too dumb to duck when they see it coming." - Stuart Granger in B'Wana Junction (to Ava Gardner) "Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the highest birth who, of their own free choice, have remained 35 for years." - Lady Becknel in "The Importance of Being Ernest." "Oh lord, if we could only live without men - but we can't live without them, the rascals, and how difficult it is to live WITH them." - from "The Rise of Catherine the Great" "Every beast of a man begins to want you when he thinks you belong to some other beast of a man." from "The Rise of Catherine the Great" "Smokin' may kill me, but it won't let me down." - detective on "Reasonable Doubts" when Dickey told him he find someone and quit smoking "I don't know any mutes who can use the telephone." - A comedian regarding the mute button on the telephone "To be or not to be ain't much of a choice." - Attributed to "Wayne Buckeye" on a plaque on a building in the beginning of "Nobody's Fool" "You know, no matter how often I see it, the sight of young lovers never fails to make me SICK." - Norm on Cheers episode after viewing Woody and his bride 5/14/92 "I don't understand your whole GENDER - starting with fear of crying to that 'pull my finger' routine." Wally on "Love and War" sitcom episode "I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." Julia Roberts as Shelby Catenton Latcherie in "Steel Magnolias" "There are four things that tell the world what a man is: his house, his car, his wife, and his shoes." Danny DeVito in "War of the Roses" "There's times when feelin' good, and things like that, is important." - Dorothy McGuire as Mama in "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" "My life needs a rewind/erase button." - Calvin of Calvin and Hobbs by Bill Waterson "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography." - Paul Rodriguez "I think I got procrastination from my dad. One time I checked out a book on procrastination from the library. I never read it and I turned it in late." - My stepdaughter Mary "There's nothing in the dark that wasn't there when the light was on." - Gramps in "The Boy With Green Hair" "You big stud: Take me to bed or lose me forever!" - Meg Ryan to Anthony Edwards and Kelly McGillis to Tom Cruise in "Top Gun" "For a decent man, there's never any peace of mind without honesty..." - Jennifer Jones in 'Man in the Grey Flannel Suit" "If you want attention, ask someone for a hug." A teacher - quoted by my son Chris as he hugged me about the waist in May 1993 (he was 10) "If you ever want something done, always ask the busy man; the others never have time." - Rudy Vallee's character in (1948 version) "Unfaithfully Yours" "LIFE bullies us, son, not GOD!" - Richard Widmark in "Cold Sassy Tree" "Men fall in love with the women they're attracted to; women are attracted to the men they love." - Helen on "Wings" 10/11/94 "The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves; but how she's treated." - Eliza Doolittle in "My Fair Lady" "Love sucks." - Andrew McCarthy as Kevin in "St. Elmo's Fire" "Love sucks." - Bob in "Big Man on Campus" "Love sucks." - Larry (Tim Robbins) in "Cadillac Man The following quotes are tongue in cheek. They're meant to be funny. I don't "go" by them! "When you kick someone in the head, it's the most incredible feeling." - kickboxer Rick Roufus on Showtime "To be WITH another woman is French. To be CAUGHT - is American." - Police Chief in "Bedtime Story" "A man's head's like a door knob: any woman can turn it." - Bub in "My Three Son's" episode "There's only one way for a poor defenseless woman to treat a husband, and that's to get the upper hand of him in the first five minutes and to rule him." - from "The Rise of Catherine the Great" "The notion of two people spending their entire lives together was invented by people who were lucky to make it to age 20 without being eaten by dinosaurs - Andrew McCarthy as Kevin in "St. Elmo's Fire" "They wouldn't send a WOMAN would they?" - Jane in "Stranger on the Third Floor" "Honey, I don't think you're flattering his ego too much by doing things for him. Did you ever hear of feminine charm? Well, it's nothing more than building a fellow up, you know, laughing at his jokes, making him feel superior so that he'll want to do things for you. To get anywhere in this man's world, you've got to learn to be CHAR-MING!" - Donna Reed in the "Donna Reed Show" to her daughter "Girls are so silly." - a grandfather Gnome in Walt Disney's "Gnome-Mobile" "Women are difficult creatures, sir. I've found that the best way to deal with them is to find out what they want and then arrange for them to get it." - The doctor in "Prudence and the Pill" "A woman will never be president; she'd have to admit she was over 35." - Mary Matthews (Katherine Hepburn) with Spencer Tracy in "State of the Union" "Women should be given a damn good squeeze and thereafter avoided." - Martin Sheen in "DA" "A woman's place is in her hut." - Gilligan in "Gilligan's Island" episode "Girls never keep a secret." - Mr. Howell in "Gilligan's Island" episode "There's no sense in even TALKING to women. They don't even know the MEANING of logic!" - Vinnie Groves in "There's Always Tomorrow" "Oh, God, why didn't you make woman first, while you were fresh?" - Yves Montand as Professor Chabot in "On a Clear Day..." (With Barbra Streisand) "You know, you women do this all the time: you want us to share, then you don't let us share - 'be sensitive' - 'no - be strong' - 'nurture us' - 'leave us alone' - why don't you call a meeting and decide on the rules? And you can start with that whole 'I want a commitment" thing - - - we don't GET that." - Frank Fontana on Murphy Brown episode 5/11/92

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